After falling head over kitten heels
in love with these pink pants, I was coldly struck with the unwelcomed tragedy
of the site not having them in my size. Oh woe to the perfectly petite darling
me. And all in that moment I could see my entire world come crashing down on my
fragile heart. All the thousands of breathtaking outfits featuring these pants
that I had envisioned would all go to waste. Oh. I know what you’re thinking my
darling, for I was thinking the same darkness; how could I possibly recover
from such tragedy? Will I ever find love again? Alas, after many cups of tea
and relentless online shopping, there they were. Pants so gorgeous that I forget
all other pants in my wardrobe—which is quite voluptuous—and I can’t imagine a
life without them. Sky blue and sensational. So there I was; wrapped up in a
passionate love affair with these pants and ready to purchase them when all of
the sudden my life was tossed upside down—yet again—with the return of none
other than the pink pants.
I was speechless. Here they were.
My first loves standing before my eyes behind my computer screen. Restocked in
my size and finally ready for commitment. But the blue pants! I had moved on. I
had finally accepted that the pink pants and I couldn’t have a future together
and what do those seductive slacks do? Waltz back into my life and expect me to
fall back into their snugly fitted embrace. Do I dare go back to them after our
tragic past?
I turned back to the blue pants
only to find it was they that had made the decision for me. Stabbing me in the
heart. As it turns out, for the entirety of our romance, the blue pants had
neglected to tell me that they too were no longer stocked in my size. Feeling
cheated and abused, I returned to my pit of misery that the pink pants had put
me in before.
As I was sat there, confused and
contemplating life, I was pulled out by my first love. Begging for a second
chance. So much promise in the “Add Size W2434 to Bag” button. I wiped my tear-streaked
face and drew a shaky breath. This was it, my second chance at happiness.
And I took it.
